Here I am, almost 60 years old and again am asking, "Who am I"? I thought I figured that out in my late teens... but so much has happened since then - so much life- so much abuse, so much pain, PTSD, so much loss. And while there have been wonderful blessings in my life: my 3 great sons and a husband who just never stops giving- over the past few years so much of my existence has been circumscribed by the pain of my daily life.
I have fibromyalgia so there is pretty much pain somewhere in my body all the time- but I can cope with that except when there are hurricanes or big weather changes- then I need a pain killer of some kind.
But there's no pain killer for the emotional pain that wracks my life. So many things trigger the PTSD- many of them even still catch me by surprise.
One theory says to ignore all that and get busy with something else and it will go away. Another says, be honest, admit what you've experienced and pursue healing.
Who really knows?
What I tend to do when the emotional pain is too much is play mentally challenging computer games that force me to sidestep the pain to concentrate on the game- eventually the pain seems to dissipate- but what kind of life is that- always running for the computer - or a book to read?